capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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