Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
