Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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