after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
