I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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