she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
