seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
