I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
