Jerry, you need to find god
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize