Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
