the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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