A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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