i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
