Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
