It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
