just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
