hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
