cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
