What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
