Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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