absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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