I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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