You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
