I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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