check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize