oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
