Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
