TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
