I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
