Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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