could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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