I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
