is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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