you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
