My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
