IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
