Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
