Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
