He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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