And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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