I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
