READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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