that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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