I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize