i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
