ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The beer is more important than you right now.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
