CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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