why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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