six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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