Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
