So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
