You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
