Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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