considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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