LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
