And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
