SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
