ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
