is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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