I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
