she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
