I want to stick my p in your. b.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
two words: eviction party
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize