Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
