I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
